I read a story recently on popular Nigerian music producer, Don Jazzy gifting his friend a wrist watch worth almost a hundred million Naira ($60,000) and it made me reminisce on the Don Jazzy-D’Banj story; two promising young men with identical origins but diverging destinies, which I put down to differences in contentment.

In the early 2000s Mo Hits All Stars reigned supreme in the Nigerian air waves and was arguably the best music group in the Nigerian music industry at the time. Together with a few others, they pioneered the globalization of Afrobeats. Don Jazzy was the producer, the brain behind the wheels, D’Banj was the face of the group and the best entertainer in Nigeria at the time. By all measures, they were extremely successful.

But D’Banj (well within his rights) wanted more. Don Jazzy on the other hand was content with what they had achieved. They eventually went on a voyage with Kanye West’s music label and from then on things fell apart. Mo Hits did not survive but Don Jazzy did. He returned to Nigeria and formed Mavins group which has turned out to be a huge success. The same can’t be said of D’Banj who has struggled severally to revive his music career. Sometimes contentment and patience are all that matter.

I read a novel many years ago of an American man from a poor background who swore in defiance to poverty that he must become a millionaire. He started his company and worked so hard round the clock (literally), slave-driving his employees in the process that he forgot to check his balance sheets. A few years later, his girlfriend, who doubled as his accountant drew his attention to the fact that they were indeed now multimillionaires and that he had to slow down. He was so engrossed in his ambition he didn’t realize when he’d hit his target.

This applies to many of us. We push so hard and for so long that we do not know when to stop and bask in what we’ve achieved. We end up living out our lives feeling under-achieved. It is a very healthy habit to sometimes stop and look back at our past and compare with out present. Those degrees, certificates and awards, those kids, that spouse, that budding family, did not fall from the sky. Those are hours of sweat and blood. Yet we feel deficient.

The problem is that the goal post keeps shifting and our definition of success is obscure. We keep wanting more, driven mostly from a feeling of discontentment, rather than purpose. The current era of materialism which breeds an unhealthy competition (no thanks to Social Media) does not help. We want to drive a car finer than our neighbor’s, without realizing that the guy down the road drives an even finer car. For every fine car we see, there is a finer car. Basic Economics in secondary school taught me that resources are limited, but needs are infinite. The problem is that we try to defy this law by relentlessly pushing resources to match needs, and have been so far unsuccessful at this. The solution lies in contentment.

Morgan Housel in The Psychology of Money writes that the easiest way to become wealthy is by saving money and managing what we have (contentment). The challenge is that the more money we make, the more needs we create for ourselves (Notorious B.I.G sang about this in Mo money Mo problems).

A popular motivational quote states that ‘the sky is our limit’, but what happens when we get to the sky? Do we keep aspiring for more or do we stop? What is beyond the sky? Is there an end to all the hustle and bustle? To our ambitions? Knowing when to stop is a talent we should all pray for because sometimes we become successful without knowing we have succeeded. That’s the danger of living an unfulfilled life. Many times we do not even have a clear definition of what success means for us. Sometimes we need to pat ourselves on the back for how far we have come.